1.13 WILD TV

1.13 WILD TV

WILD TV is coming at you like it usually does; hard, fast and with a hint of regret at times. But that is alright, everything is alright, because its Sunday night and most people have to work in the morning (editor's note: This is being written on a Tuesday evening, fuck you). We start things off as the apparent confusion between LRI and the Dod Squad continues, with Stuart Robinson taking on the master of love himself, Ronnie Dod. This match was a tough bout for both men, but it was incredibly stressing on one VD Dod. VD, the most outspoken of the Dods has been rather quiet of late, holding his tongue (rare, I know) at this apparent dissent between his family and his partner, Stuart. Ronnie held his own, but Stuart's lariat was enough to catch Ronnie off-guard and help him score a pinfall. VD was conflicted after the match when Aleks and Iggy came down to attack Stuart, all VD could do was step in between the two warring sides and pull Stuart out, Stuart still livid and wanting to rip all of their heads off. I'd say that 'cooler heads prevailed' but with Stuart, there is no such thing.

We cut up to the backstage area where we see Sit Kwok Fu, as he tries to keep the cameras away from their locker room. But sadly for them, our cameramen have made money off of photos of Britney Spears bloated in a back alley somewhere vomiting up her own placenta, so they know how to be persistent. What we walk into is Sean arguing with a heavily taped/bandaged up Paddy Baker.

Baker: How was I supposed to know there would be somebody there who wants an old man's blood?

Gabriel: I don't bloo'y well care, why ain't an' old'un like you being watched by Korea over here?

Baker: The boy had to have his fun, Sean.

Gabriel: He shoulda been loo'in after you!

Baker: Well you ran off with that sweet little thing, I figured we'd be fine, it was late anyway...

Gabriel: Aye well di'ya see the fuckin' car at least?

*Baker sighs as he holds his ribs in pain*

Baker: Black, Lincoln Continental...

Gabriel: I bloody knew it -- the fuckin' I-Tal-Yuns again! Them an' their black cars an' tinted windows an' cheap suits an'...

Baker: Well its a nice car, I mean..

Gabriel: Enough with the bloody car, this ain't good, does this mean me an' Korea have'ta go it 'lone?

Baker: For now my friend, these tired old bones aren't doing so well..

*Gabriel turns around to see the cameraman and start shouting at him, then slapping Sit upside the head for letting them in*

Gabriel: What in the bloo'y hell you thinking, boy?

*Sit rummages around in his pocket and pulls out some coins, giving them to Sean*

Sit: I.. believe... You'ah.. Like these?

*Gabriel looks at one of them, bites it, then looks down at it, spitting on the ground and tossing it against a locker, clanging*

Gabriel: What in the bloo'y hell do I need a bloo'y Spanish Da-Blun for?! Get your facts straight, Korea.. IRELAND, not Spain. Christ.


Our cameramen are really on top of things, as next we cut up to the La Cosa Nostra locker room, as Zannino and Bianco look pleased with Joey Knuckles.

Joey: So uh, whaddaya think about that?

Zannino: Eh, maybe things be'a lookin' up for ya, knowhadamean?

Joey: Well uh, does this mean my debt is paid back?

*Bianco and Zannino laugh as Zannino slaps Knuckles on the back, hard*

Bianco: Faggedaboutit, alright?

*Joey looks up at Zannino then*

JOey: Faggedaboutit?

Zannino: Yeah, Fagghedabout'it.

Joey: You mean she is free now?

*They laugh again as Bianco grabs Joey by the ear and twists it, Joey screaming out*

Bianco: No, you dipshit. Now I'm gonna say this slowly, Fah-Ged-About-It. We own you, an' we own her sweet little ass too until you find a way ta pay back the Don for his genorosities.

*He lets go as Joey rubs his ear in pain, Zannino and Bianco walk off while Zannino shouts behind him*

Zannino: Maybe she'll get a night off some night, eh? She can spend the night with me instead, eh?

*Bianco laughs*

Biaco: fah-gedaboutit, eh?



The junior division is really on a roll since the tournament to crown a champion, and we saw Billy Hollywood, who happens to be the shortest reigning Junior Heavyweight Champion in WILD's history face off with Kyle Walker. Both men were looking to be impressive here and pull off a big win, and tonight it was the ex-champ's night, but with the usual tom-foolery involved. Kyle fought as hard as he could, but Hollywood wants Leche and wants that title back, as was shown when he pulled a bottle of baby oil out and covered himself in it while MIRYOKO distracted the ref. Kyle tried to Stroke Billy (....), but Billy was too slippery for him, causing Kyle to lose his grip and Billy to hit the Star*Maker on Kyle for the 1...2...3!

From what we saw before, we understand that Paddy Baker will not be competing tonight, due to some 'good deed' by Joey Knuckles, he won't have to compete in this match, and now he is 'rewarded' with a WILD International Heavyweight Championship.. Yeah, I don't know if thats much of a victory for him, or something for him to quiver in fear at. So what we ended up with was a straight tag team match between Sean and Sit and Ted Zannino and Rick Briggs. It was a great tag team match, with Sit being isolated by La Cosa Nostra throughout, but this match was full of surprises, as Zannino pulled out the brass knuckles and Paddy Baker who was at ringside made his prescence felt, and completely shocked La Cosa Nostra, ripping the brace off of his arm and slugging Zannino in the jaw with his right hand, then stun-gunning Briggs against the ropes, Briggs turning right into the Fisherman Suplex by Gabriel for the 3-count! Baker rips off his bandages and starts going to town on La Cosa Nostra! All hell has broken loose, and finally Joey Knuckles helps pull them out of the ring, only to get slugged right in the face by Zannino, as they shout at him that he messed up, that he lied! Knuckles is on his knees now, pleading with them to not hurt him. Zannino is standing over him with the brass knuckles, but Briggs whispers something into his ear, and Zannino lets him go. We hear Zannino shouting at him that tonight he is on his own against Sommers.

Knuckles is backstage now getting looked at by the doctors, preparing him for his match and he is just shaking with fear. Sommers is heading to the ring and the music playing backstage has him even more scared, only for Angelo Sabatini to come up from behind him and offer him some 'protection' for tonight, as he has quite a bone to pick with Sommers. Sabatini didn't exactly help to the degree Knuckles would have liked, as he didn't intrude, just made sure that nothing suspect went on. Sommers completely obliterated Knuckles, finally hoisting him up and delivering the Alabama Nightmare, then covering with one foot for the 1...2...3. Sommers doesn't look pleased, though, as he is going for another.. And Sabatini runs in and nails Sommers with a right hand! Sommers drops Knuckles and they are brawling, spilling out of the ring and into the crowd! This leaves a battered and beaten Knuckles in the ring now.. Uh oh, here come La Cosa Nostra! They look absolutely livid, as Sommers didn't finish the job, and it looks like they are going to do it themselves. Zannino and Bianco with brass knuckles, and Briggs with a baseball bat! They are standing over the fallen Knuckles, and he is just begging them off now, Zannino raises his hand to strike him and HERE COME THE BRUISERS! La Cosa Nostra has bailed, and the Bruisers are dragging Knuckles back with them.

Two of Cerberus, Fiero and Lee faced off with WILD Champion Jason Blackhart and Dante Black in a knock-down-drag-out brawl that went all the way to a thirty-minute draw. None of the four were looking to do anything but kill each other, and it showed. If anything, the fact that JB really doesn't work well with others led to the JB/Dante dynamic not exactly working too well. Lee and Fiero were able to isolate this fact and work them slightly against each other.

The main event is a match that fans have been wanting for a while, as Spunk takes on Jack Dod, the former champion. I'm sure fans would have liked to have seen this under much different circumstances, but tonight it is about two men full of pride and looking to get to the top of the mountain again. Dod taking two losses to Blackhart, and Spunk looking to get a shot at Blackhart, either man could easily find themselves in another title position in a blink depending on the outcome of this match. Both men have been just beating the absolute shit out of each other. There was nothing pretty about this match, as both men were bleeding and just refusing to relent on each other. Spunk actually out-Dod'd Jack Dod, as Jack was looking to distract the ref with ripping the turnbuckle pad off and claiming he can't wrestle with the turnbuckle pad exposed, as it could injure him, he turned around to a low blow from Spunk, followed by a MF-1! That was it, as Spunk made the cover and is awarded the win! Spunk grabs a mic and calls out Blackhart, saying that he laid waste to the former champion, and wants to make this quick and painless.

JB comes out brandishing the title, posing in the entranceway and pointing at Spunk. Well, JB really didn't think this through, as Fiero and Lee rush him from behind, Spunk laughing like a maniac as they stomp down the champ. Spunk rolls out and grabs the title, holding it up high over JB as Fiero and Lee stomp him down. The fans are going nuts as Spunk is posing as the champion and.. Wait! A fan has jumped the barrier as the guards are trying to pull him back, this guy, kinda big, catches one with an elbow, then rolls and nails the other with an elbow! He just laid waste to two big security guards with two precise elbow strikes! Lee laughs as he goes to dispose of the fan (I guess a fan jumping the barrier means its OPEN SEASON on them, eh?), only for him to get a look at who it is, he goes pale and steps back, as Spunk turns around to see who it is, he drops the belt and grabs Fiero, pulling him into the crowd -- they are bailing! Lee turns to see this, then turns back and BOOM -- RIGHT HAND! THAT WAS.. THE FUCKING METSUKEN! DAVE FAIRBAIN JUST LAID BRIAN LEE OUT!

Dave Fairbain.

1. Stuart Robinson (13:29 - Burning Lariat) Ronnie Dod
2. Billy Hollywood (9:49 - Star*Maker) Kyle Walker
3. Sean(O)/Sit (24:55 - Cloverplex) Zannino/Briggs(X)
4. WILD International Heavyweight Championship:Dan Sommers(C) (6:33 - Alabama Nightmare) Joey Knuckles (w/ Angelo Sabatini)
5. Fiero/Lee(O) (30:00 - Draw) JB(X)/Dante
6. Spunk (14:33 - MF-1) Jack Dod