Showing posts with label press conference. Show all posts
Showing posts with label press conference. Show all posts

1.21.2008

1.21 -- WILD Press Conference

Manakuro Marakuso walks up to the podium in his suit as he clears his throat, camera flashes going off around them. An olive-skinned man in a black suit is standing next to him as he addresses the crowd, "Thank you all for coming out, I'm going to make this as quick and painless as possible. As we've all seen, the actions of late by La Cosa Nostra members Raymond Bianco, Jr., Richard K. Briggs and Theodore Zannino have been unnacceptable, and I'd even go as far as to say criminal.

"We are here for a few reasons, first of all, the WILD Wrestling Alliance Senior Committee would like to publicly state that these actions are not only deplorable, but they are unacceptable. We have seen La Cosa Nostra members not only refuse to use discretion in their violent acts, but use illegal activities such as extortion, prostitution, distributing drug and drug paraphernalia and blackmail. No members of the WILD Senior Committee will let this stand," he clears his throat again, taking a hard gulp of water and fixes his collar. "We are going to take as strong of precautionary measures as we possibly can, and for the time being that Raymond Bianco, Jr., Richard K. Briggs and Theodore Zannino will all be suspended from action until further notice. There is also an ongoing criminal investigation as to their actions on Saturday Night.

"Furthermore, we have decided to take action against the man appointed to oversee all talent relations and booking activities, Seamus McFadden. Mr. McFadden was placed in a position of power due to his previous position and a contract he had with the company. After the actions of La Cosa Nostra, on top of his inability to properly maintain the needed relations between talent, letting Cerberus members attack the audience, letting the Dods attack Jason Blackhart at will, and McFadden abusing his power, even going as far as to offer a fee for injuring Jason Blackhart to put him out of action. We regret that this had to happen and wish Mr. McFadden the best in his future endeavors. The floor is now open to questions, I'd like to direct any questions regarding the legal matters of La Cosa Nostra to their legal counsel, Mr. Vincent Mancini," he points at the black-suited man standing next to him, who nods.

"Over here," one woman stands up, holding her microphone out. "Mr. McFadden, do we have a status on Mr. Theunk?"

"At this time that is a part of an ongoing criminal investigation," Mancini interrupts. "I maintain my clients' innocence and that there was another man involved whom police should be investigating."

"What?!" A man in a derby hat (yeah, we get WEIRDOS) stands up with his notepad. "Are you saying that not only do your clients have alibis, but proof that another man was involved?"

"Yeah," Mancini scoffs. "Whaddaboudit?"

"Well, I mean Mr. Theunk might be dead for all we know..." The man starts.

"We've been told," Marakuso interrupts. "We've been told by the authorities not to discuss Mr. Theunk's condition, as we must first consult with the familiy before we disclose anything about this sensitive manner, plus there is a criminal investigation into the possible involvement of..."

"Of Sit Kung Fu," Mancini interrupts. Manakuro stares at him, his jaw dropped. "I mean, da 'lil Core-E-Un was at da house, was wit' da Theunk last, an' he ain't got no alibi, while my boys, well, their cases are air-fuckin'-tight."

"So you are telling us that the man that your clients beat senselessly inside of the ring... Was the man that killed the man he was protecting, with damning evidence against your clients?" The reporter asks, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, now whaddaboudit? You got a probl'm wit' dat? Mr. Kung Fu was dere, nobody got no account'a him, an' its irony dat he shows up at the WILD show on Sunday, no? Dat was why my clients decided to teach him a lesson he won't be faggedin' anytime soon."

"But wasn't that senseless violence with intent to murder?" A new reporter, with a cowboy hat and a Goodwill card in the brim asks.

"No, you see, my clients were inside of da WILD ring durin' da incident in discussion, an' while dey are in dat very ring, WILD is solely respons'b'le for what goes on in dat ring. Capice?"

"Uh, capice.." He replies.

"Now dis show is ovah, know what ah mean?"